Friday Offcuts – 7 November 2014

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We’ve got an interesting piece this week on amendments to the New Zealand Building Code (Protection from Fire). What’s this you’ll ask? It came into effect in April this year and may well have a huge impact on timber being used for interior wall and ceilings in buildings. It appears that solid timber and timber veneers in a commercial setting are now required to be coated (up to four applications) with a very expensive fire retardant in order to be compliant. It’s understood that, even timber used in formwork for concrete flooring needs to be coated. Accordingly to one timber supplier the new Fire Code has already wiped 25% of his business and architects are silently fuming. According to the writer of this week’s article, the timber industry has been very quiet so far. It maybe that the implications of the change haven’t yet filtered through. Check out the full story in this week’s issue.

In line with the upcoming FIEA technology series, ForestTECH 2014, we’ve got a story this week on a young Finnish company that’s developed a smartphone app which they’re claiming can revolutionize forest inventory. In ForestTECH 2014, innovative local as well as North American and European forest inventory tools developed and being used operationally are going to be discussed with resource and planning foresters across both countries. Remember, this kicks off in just over two weeks’ time. Already around 250 foresters from across the region have registered for the upcoming series.

The latest international report on climate change released in Copenhagen over the weekend (see link in the story below) has been welcomed across the globe. Climate Change 2014, the Synthesis Report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change’s Fifth Assessment is apparently the best scientific assessment of climate issues out there now. It’s brought together the collective knowledge and expertise of key climate scientists and experts from around the world.

It’s hardly surprising that the politicians in this part of the world are agreeing with the report findings. It’s just that they differ on just what should be done. According to leading scientist Professor Ralph Sims of Massey University (recognised around the world for his expertise on climate change and renewable energy) and who was also involved in the latest IPCC report, New Zealand doesn’t have a chance of meeting its 2020 emissions reduction target under current policies. Emissions are going up, not down and unfortunately, the country has the fourth highest per capita level of emissions in the world.

In Australia, the Emissions Reduction Fund (replacing the Carbon Pricing Mechanism that was repealed in July of this year) passed through the Senate last week. The aim is to ensure the country's minimum target of greenhouse gas emission reductions to 5 per cent below 2000 levels by 2020 can be met. It’s budgeted a hefty AU$2.55 billion to meet or exceed this target. The deal between the coalition and the Palmer United Party to get the fund through the upper house also provides a review into emissions trading schemes (we thought this one was dead) and Australia’s future target or cap. The question is still like New Zealand, what measures or policies are going to make the country transition to a low carbon economy.



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Finnish app revolutionizes forestry measurement

A young Finnish company called Trestima has developed a smartphone app that is revolutionising the way forest timber is surveyed. This innovative app is beginning to replace forestry measurement tools that have been in use since the late 1940s.

Two former Nokia employees, Simo Kivimäki and Timo Rouvinen, felt it was about time forest inventory systems caught up with the digital era. In 2012 they launched Trestima, making forestry surveying processes more cost-efficient, accurate and reliable. Trestima’s Forest Inventory System enables easy capture, cloud storage and analysis of forestry data such as the number, height, width and volume of trees.

Kivimäki and Rouvinen developed a smartphone app and tested it in a 20 hectare forest, taking random photos with their phones and analysing the data back in their office. What took them just 40 minutes normally would have taken a full working day with traditional methods, so they knew they were doing something right.

Trestima has helped forestry companies cut down up to one-third of the time their workers have to spend in the forest surveying trees, declares Kivimäki. The average measurement speed is now less than five minutes per hectare. Also, the traditional method had an average 25 per cent error rate, whereas our system can get that down to less than ten per cent.

Sweden, Canada and the USA are potential large markets for Tampere-based Trestima. But neighbouring Russia, the largest forest country in the world, offers the greatest promise for Trestima. Georgy Rybakov, CEO of RusFor Consult Oy Ab, is helping Trestima enter the Russian market.

Russia’s forestry sector is quite inefficient in terms of forest data, says Rybakov. So Trestima can really help Russia’s forestry companies to more effectively measure, analyse and manage their forests. We have begun negotiations with a number of large Russian forestry companies and are planning pilot projects with them. One of the companies based in Siberia is already using Trestima and a few more companies based in Karelia, the Leningrad region and the Vologda region have already piloted the service.

Kivimäki hopes Trestima will one day become the globally-recognized method for measuring timber in forests. With several new and innovative forestry-related products in the pipeline, Trestima has the potential to become a global player over the next few years. More >>.

A raft of new tools and technologies for forest inventory will be explored as part of this region’s ForestTECH 2014 event running in Rotorua and Melbourne in just over two weeks. Full details can be found on the event website www.foresttech.events.

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New Zealand’s architectural future is under fire

New Zealand’s architectural future is under fire from bureaucrat’s intent of fixing what doesn’t need to be fixed. The Amendments to Clause C (Protection from Fire) of the New Zealand Building Code, which came into effect in April 2014, following a cross over period of some 12 months, maintains that materials must meet specific fire performance criteria for use as interior wall and ceiling materials in buildings.

If the criteria aren’t met, and in the case of solid timber and timber veneers in a commercial setting they aren’t, up to 4 applications of a toxic, expensive, imported, intumescent coating with fire retardant are now required in order to be compliant. It seems fire engineers at MBIE have decided that we must prepare for an imaginary fire event with an ‘in your dreams’ likelihood or probability of ever occurring in reality.

Apparently, ‘we can’t rely on past safety performance to protect us in the future’. Really? If there was one thing that the Canterbury earthquakes taught us it is that we can design to a performance level but we have to make educated, not fanciful assessments, of what is absolutely necessary in order to prevent loss of life.

The most recent changes to the Fire Code were undertaken with limited consultation and a very narrow view of unintended consequences – environmentally, socially and economically. If you prefer even a hint of timber as an interior finish in a commercial setting, from hotels to museums, universities to surf clubs, you could soon be out of luck.

For timber with the Group Number 3, compliance with the new regime is expensive. Accordingly to one timber supplier, by the time fire retardant treatments or coatings are applied, his timber, once sought after and featured in award winning buildings around the country from the Manukau Institute of Technology to the Supreme Court Wellington, is cost prohibitive. The new Fire Code has wiped 25% of his business and architects are silently fuming.

Timber, in many respects, is now faced with an uncompetitive and potentially ugly future. It is understood that, even timber used in formwork for concrete flooring now be coated. And testing to try to improve the Group Number from 3 to 2 can depend on the species, density and thickness of material. Need anyone guess what is involved to test across each of these criteria at the single ISO accredited fire testing facility in New Zealand!

The rule of thumb is, choose your timber and multiply by 3 or approximately $70m2 – such is the cost of the only available imported toxic intumescent coating. And, say goodbye to any previously stunning timber architecture. Under current product availability coatings will forever change the look and feel of rimu, swamp kauri, southland beech, larch or whatever your preference. Imagine a cloudy milky sort of schmuck and you will get a fairly accurate impression of what is in store.

Few are persuaded that the legislation will contribute to public well-being or safety in any measurable way. More >>
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CarbonScape looks to crowdfunding platform for expansion

Marlborough-based CarbonScape, which has the technology that could slash global greenhouse gas emissions is inviting the public to invest, is the latest company to raise capital through the new crowdfunding platform Snowball Effect to build a continuous production pilot plant.

The offer, which has just gone live on the Snowball Effect platform, will be open for 45 days, or until it reaches its cap. CarbonScape is seeking a target of NZ$400,000, and has a cap of NZ$1.5 million. The company already has an agreement to supply its clean coking coal to the New Zealand Steel mill at Glenbrook, and says that this aspect of its technology alone has the potential to cut global greenhouse gas emissions by up to 3 per cent if implemented worldwide.

CarbonScape’s patented technology can also be used to make a whole host of clean-tech products, from activated carbon (used for purifying food, air and water) to chemicals and syngas. The company uses microwave technology to turn the carbon in waste wood, such as that from the forestry industry, into carbon products in just minutes – products that it takes nature millions of years to create.

Using microwave technology is the brainchild of Chris Turney. As a teenager, he cooked a potato in a microwave oven for too long. The microwave oven was ruined, but what was really interesting was what happened to the potato. He shared, ”It was black. It was pure carbon.”

Twenty years later, as a distinguished earth scientist, Professor Turney remembered that potato when he was trying to find a way to replicate the carbon cycle. That technology has been refined and developed in CarbonScape’s Marlborough laboratory to the point where the company can now make high-quality coking coal (the type essential to the steel-making process) in minutes.

This product, named Green Coke, is so important to emissions reduction that New Zealand Steel (which is owned by BlueScope Steel of Australia) has signed a supply agreement with CarbonScape, and has also signed a Memorandum of Understanding with the company, providing technical support to take Green Coke to production scale. The first production plant will be built near the New Zealand Steel site at Glenbrook, south of Auckland. More >>.


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China's economy slowest pace in 24 years

China's economy is likely to grow at its slowest pace in 24 years this year and will cool further in 2015, weighed down by a cooling property sector and factory overcapacity and as top leaders push structural reforms, a recent Reuters poll showed.

Growth in the world's second-largest economy slowed from 7.5 percent earlier in the year to 7.3 percent in the third quarter, which was the weakest since the global financial crisis. A similar pace is expected in the current quarter, leaving full-year growth at 7.4 percent, just shy of the government's target of 7.5 percent.

"We expect the policy stance to remain supportive of growth, through the stimulation of infrastructure investment, further relaxing of property market policies and more 'targeted' monetary easing steps," Louis Kuijs, chief China economist at Royal Bank of Scotland in Hong Kong. "However, we think policymakers will not resort to more significant and higher profile measures unless growth takes another turn for the worse. If it does, we can imagine more significant measures, including a cut in benchmark lending rates."

Data last week showed Chinese home prices fell for the fifth straight month in September, wiping out a year's gains, reinforcing expectations that the government will have to roll out fresh stimulus to avert a sharper slowdown. Accounting for about 15 percent of China's economy, the property cooldown has crimped demand in 40 sectors ranging from steel to cement and furniture, becoming the single biggest drag on domestic activity.

Source: Thomson Reuters




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Structural panels could transform Australian home building

A panel-based structural building system developed in South Australia promises to transform the building industry by dramatically reducing the time and cost required to produce a finished home. The innovative approach to home construction, developed by NU-TEK Building Systems, involves the use of structural, load-bearing wall panels whose edges are embedded with interlocking steel beams. The steel beams enable the panels to slot together firmly like jigsaw pieces to form the structural framework of a building, dispensing with the need for timber frames or brick veneer walls.

The use of these interlocking panels as chief structural components for the building frame greatly increases the ease and convenience of the construction process, while also reducing material wastage and construction time. According to the developers of the system, the system could reduce the time needed to build a quality family home from 26 weeks, which is the average at present, to just six weeks.

In addition to reduced building time and cost, another core advantage is the endless flexibility the panels provide. The panels can be manufactured to any length, while construction materials of any kind can be attached to either side, including cement board, timber, colour bond and stainless steel, in order match the precise needs of both the interior and exterior of the building.

The panels themselves are made using a magnesium oxide composite and fitted with 100 millimetres of PIR foam, conferring them with significant resistance to fire, termites and corrosion, as well as providing great insulation against noise and temperature. NU-TEK claims these properties make homes built using the panels 30 per cent cheaper to heat and cool, enabling its demonstration home to grab a 7.6 Green Star rating.

Other advantages include the use of pre-assembled “looms” for the installation of electrical wiring as the building walls are assembled, as well as the absence of trusses in the roofing system, permitting the installation of mezzanine floors. Greg Toop, NU-TEK’s marketing director, believes the new approach to building developed by the company will have nothing short of a transformative impact on the construction industry. The company has already received strong expressions of interest from a broad range of interests, and plans to export the products to China and the Middle East.

For more information check out the latest issue of R&D Works.



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Latrobe City leads Australia with Wood Encouragement policy

In a nation leading decision, Councillors at Latrobe City Council on Wednesday evening voted unanimously to push on towards a 'Wood Encouragement' policy. The policy has the goal of driving construction in the region towards an outcome which is better for the environment and will benefit a great many local businesses. The Council voted to commence a public consultation process, before an expected final ratification of the policy in December.

The Chief Executive Officer of the Australian Forest Products Association, Mr Ross Hampton travelled to Morwell to address the Councillors at the Council Chamber. “This is a forward thinking Council led by Mayor, Councillor Sharon Gibson”, said Mr Hampton. “All over the world in countries such as Canada and France, governments are making the decision to change their tender processes to better accommodate timber. Latrobe City Council is to be congratulated for leading our nation”.

Mr Hampton said, “It is my hope that all councils in these areas will follow the lead of Latrobe City Council and adopt their own wood encouragement policies.” The Latrobe City Council wood encouragement policy would require all submissions for Council construction to pay adequate regard to wood, and acknowledge Council's strong preference for quality wood buildings, where suitable.




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Leaders group challenges forestry to step up

Forestry industry must act as one to end shameful trend of injury and death in the bush - “The forestry industry must commit to implementing an action plan for reducing the industry’s shamefully high injury rate,” the Business Leaders’ Health and Safety Forum says.

Last Friday’s report from the industry-sponsored Independent Forestry Safety Review provides a comprehensive plan to make forestry safer, Forum Executive Director Julian Hughes says.

“This is an excellent report. But it will only make a difference if the proposed changes are implemented by all industry players quickly – including forest owners, managers, contractors, workers and the regulator, WorkSafe,” Julian says.

The report paints a bleak picture of industry’s performance on safety. “Forestry is the most dangerous sector to work in by far. The injury rate is double that of other industries and the fatality rate is 15 times the rate for all industries.”

Unsurprisingly, the report found no single “silver bullet” to solve the industry’s problems. Rather, it recommends a series of industry-wide initiatives. These start with a much stronger and more active commitment from industry leaders. “We know that active and committed leadership matters because it is the defining factor that helped bring down injury rates in other high risk industries.

“The report’s vision for a ‘safe, sustainable and professional forestry sector by 2017’ will require a significant investment of time, energy and resources by industry and government. The recommendations that outside assistance is needed to get this process started is a clear signal that the industry needs help.

“We have a saying in the Forum that safety leadership comes down to what you think about the people who work for you - how their wellbeing ranks against priorities like profits and deadlines. The injury data in this report, and some of the findings about basic welfare provisions for workers, suggests some forestry leaders don’t value their workers very highly. That has to change.”

The forestry industry relies almost totally on contractors to do the most dangerous work - and while the report does not recommend any changes to this way of working, Julian says the industry must approach this model differently. “The Forum’s work on what makes safe contracting chains in high risk industries indicates that it can be achieved. But this requires a new way of working - one where contractors are treated with the same respect and care as employees.

“When you contract out the work you can’t contract out the moral and legal obligations to keep the people doing the work safe. The new health and safety law coming into force next year is going to make that much clearer. If the industry wants to stick with a contracting model it needs to put in place best practice measures to keep contractors safe. This means providing contracts that don't incentivise unsafe behaviour. There’s a need for building relationships that support safe work.”

“Serious injuries and deaths are not an inevitable consequence of work,” Julian says. “There are companies working in high risk industries in New Zealand that are achieving injury rates of close to zero. There are also examples within forestry of companies improving safety and reducing injury rates. We know it can be done but it take persistent effort and investment.”

Julian agreed with the report’s authors that the industry organisations that commissioned the review showed courage by inviting independent reviewers in to inspect their industry. “The Forum will support the industry in any way it can to implement the report’s findings.”



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Pan Pac gets green light on Otago mills

Forest Products Limited (“Pan Pac”) has received Overseas Investment Office approval for the purchase of the ex Southern Cross Forest Products Limited (in Receivership) sawmilling and drying assets at Milburn and Milton with settlement and an ownership change to be completed by 18 November 2014.

Pan Pac is a wholly owned subsidiary of Oji Green Resources Co., Ltd which is part of Oji Holdings Corporation of Japan. A new subsidiary company Pan Pac Forest Products (Otago) Limited has been formed to operate and manage the Otago assets in New Zealand.

This strategic growth opportunity is Pan Pac’s first operation outside the Hawke’s Bay area where it has operated for over 40 years. Pan Pac will be upgrading both sites prior to recommencing full production in April 2015. The production from the Otago operations will be to meet Pan Pac sales demand for Lumber product sold primarily into Asia.

Pan Pac Forest Products (Otago) Limited will be looking to commence recruitment of employees progressively from December 2014. The sites will initially employ 31 salaried and operational staff.

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Tiwi Islanders prepare for historic timber harvest

A Federal Government grant of over AU$6 million has paved the way for timber to be harvested from the Tiwi Islands in the Northern Territory. The Traditional Owners of the Tiwis are in charge of nearly 30,000 hectares of Acacia mangium trees, which are destined to be sold into Asia as woodchips after a deal was signed earlier in the year with Japanese company Mitsui.

It was hoped the first shipment of woodchips would leave Port Melville this year, but a range of issues delayed the harvest. Funding from the Aboriginals Benefit Account (ABA) has allowed the Tiwis to buy the necessary equipment needed for the harvest. About AU$4.8 million has already been spent on ship-loading equipment and the first harvest unit, which includes a chipper, skidder and feller buncher.

Chair of the Tiwi Land Council, Gibson Farmer Illortaminni, says the first harvest is due to start in February or March next year, with the first shipment of woodchips scheduled for late April/early May. Japanese company Mitsui, has confirmed its ships (which can carry 40,000 tonnes of woodchip) will be able to successfully enter and berth at Port Melville.

Director of Port Melville Pty Ltd, Andrew Tipungwuti, says the port is a hive of activity with around 40 contractors on site building a 120-person workers camp and other port infrastructure. He says the ABA funding has been a major boost for the forestry project.

The Tiwi Plantation Corporation hopes to harvest around 3,000 hectares each year and replant each site the following wet season to allow for a continuous harvest program into the future. Alternative trees to Acacia mangium are already being trialled and the current market conditions for exporting woodchips is looking rosy with a falling Australian dollar and global woodchip prices on the rise. Source: ABC News



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Wood innovation supported with opening of WIDC

The Wood Innovation and Design Centre (WIDC), one of the tallest contemporary wood buildings in North America, officially opened last week, on budget and on time, further positioning B.C. as a leader in wood innovation and design. Construction of the 29.5-metre, six-storey high WIDC began in 2013 with 13 different B.C. companies working collaboratively and employing about 250 staff throughout the province.

The WIDC will be a catalyst for future tall wood construction not just in B.C. but across Canada, North America and around the globe. The building uses a variety of wood products from all parts of British Columbia, including Douglas-fir, cedar, hemlock, pine and spruce, as well as engineered wood products produced in B.C.

The University of Northern British Columbia will occupy the first, second and third floors, including a lecture theatre on the main level. UNBC is developing two new master’s programs in engineering that are expected to be offered at the WIDC beginning in September 2015. Occupancy plans are being finalized for the remaining floors with details to be released in the coming weeks.

The location of the Media and Broadcast Centre for the 2015 Canada Winter Games at WIDC was also announced. The partnership with UNBC and the Province is perfect timing to highlight the innovation of the WIDC to the country as Prince George hosts Canada’s elite amateur athletes just 104 days from now.


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Australian forestry stats booklet released

The varied nature of forestry in Australia is highlighted in the 2014 Australia’s forests at a glance 2014 booklet, released this week by the Australian Bureau of Agricultural and Resource Economics and Sciences (ABARES). The booklet gives a detailed snapshot of Australia’s forestry and forest products manufacturing sectors.

The pocket-book covers forest types, areas and how native forests - including old growth forests - are conserved and managed. It also covers wood harvesting, production and consumption of wood products and employment in the forestry and wood products industries, forest certification and codes of practice.

To view Australia’s Forests at a glance 2014 click here

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Call for trials to reduce bushfire intensity

The Chief Executive Officer of the Australian Forest Products Association (AFPA) Mr Ross Hampton has called on the federal Government to trial the effectiveness of machinery removal of understory bush and competing trees in an attempt to find new solutions to reducing the intensity of bushfires.

Mr Hampton said, ‘For the second time in as many years the Blue Mountains are going up in smoke. With many authorities citing climate change as a driver of more and deadlier bushfires, it is vital that we look at all options for decreasing the fuel load.

“The Australian Government allocated AU$15 million in the May budget to bushfire mitigation measures. I call on the Government to set aside AU$1.5 million of that fund to fund trials so we can ascertain if machinery removal can combine with the usual winter burn-offs to make a more dramatic impact on risk reduction.”

A Deloitte Access Economics scoping study, commissioned by AFPA, found that removing fuel from as little as five per cent of a dangerously dense area could dramatically lessen the chances of out of control fires. The study found that if fuel reduction had occurred before last year's Blue Mountains fires for example, the blaze would have been far more manageable and saved NSW AU$34 million. The study also found major community benefits such as fewer days off work for those affected and reduced health impacts such as asthma.

Mr Hampton said, ‘Every year at this time all over Australia, our bush fight-fighters prep their gear and keep the fire-trucks idling in readiness for the inevitable call out. But this is really akin to parking the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff. It is past time we had a more rational discussion about reducing fuel load. Winter burn-offs are useful but are often limited because of their smoke impact on the community.

“Australia should follow the lead of the United States. President Obama is midway through a decade long program of landscape restoration in public national forests, spending $400 million on reducing the density of the forest to create a more manageable environment and reduce the severity of wildfires”, said Mr Hampton.

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Cloudy Bay Sustainable Forestry company launches $68m lawsuit

The Australian directors of a timber business in Papua New Guinea are suing the News Corp newspaper Post Courier for $60 million over allegations of links to terrorism. In September the PNG daily Post Courier newspaper published a front page story accusing an unnamed company of links to international terrorism.

The next day it published a story quoting the PNG prime minister, who identified the company as Cloudy Bay Sustainable Forestry and announced an investigation into the alleged links. Cloudy Bay and the two directors are now suing the Post Courier in the PNG National Court for between $68 million and $229 million in damages, saying the reports were "grossly defamatory", "utterly false" and "published in bad faith".

A statement from the company said the amount of damages sought reflected the loss caused by the cancelation of commercial contracts after the allegations were published.

Source: Radio Australia

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Comprehensive climate change report released

Human influence on the climate system is clear and growing, with impacts observed on all continents. If left unchecked, climate change will increase the likelihood of severe, pervasive and irreversible impacts for people and ecosystems. However, options are available to adapt to climate change and implementing stringent mitigations activities can ensure that the impacts of climate change remain within a manageable range, creating a brighter and more sustainable future.

These are among the key findings of the Synthesis Report released by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) on Sunday. The Synthesis Report distils and integrates the findings of the IPCC Fifth Assessment Report produced by over 800 scientists and released over the past 13 months – the most comprehensive assessment of climate change ever undertaken.

The Synthesis Report confirms that climate change is being registered around the world and warming of the climate system is unequivocal. Since the 1950s many of the observed changes are unprecedented over decades to millennia. “Our assessment finds that the atmosphere and oceans have warmed, the amount of snow and ice has diminished, sea level has risen and the concentration of carbon dioxide has increased to a level unprecedented in at least the last 800,000 years,” said Thomas Stocker, Co-Chair of IPCC Working Group I.

The report expresses with greater certainty than in previous assessments the fact that emissions of greenhouse gases and other anthropogenic drivers have been the dominant cause of observed warming since the mid-20th century.

IPCC reports draw on the many years of work by the scientific community investigating climate change. More than 830 coordinating lead authors, lead authors and review editors from over 80 countries and covering a range of scientific, technical and socio-economic views and expertise, produced the three working group contributions, supported by over 1000 contributing authors and drawing on the insights of over 2,000 expert reviewers in a process of repeated review and revision.

The authors assessed more than 30,000 scientific papers to develop the Fifth Assessment Report. About 60 authors and editors drawn from the IPCC Bureau and from Working Group author teams have been involved in the writing of the Synthesis Report. For full details on these latest reports, click here.

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Emissions Reduction Fund passed in Australia

With the passage of the Emissions Reduction Fund through the Senate, the federal government has taken a step towards achieving Australia’s minimum target to reduce greenhouse gas emissions to 5% below 2000 levels by 2020. The Emissions Reduction Fund is the centre-piece of the Coalition’s Direct Action plan, which will replace the Carbon Pricing Mechanism repealed in July this year.

But questions remain over how Australia will achieve the post-2020 transition to a decarbonised economy by mid-century. Avoiding dangerous levels of climate change is the reason for emissions reductions policy. We now know that we have a limited “carbon budget” that means emissions must be close to zero by 2050. The carbon budget is well described by the Climate Change Authority which fortunately was retained in a deal between the coalition and the Palmer United Party to see the fund through the upper house.

The deal also provides a review into emissions trading schemes (ETS) and Australia’s future target or cap. It has frustrated many to see a working emissions trading scheme abolished only to commence a new review into an ETS. Still, this shows that the ETS is a topic that won’t die. Glimpses of an ETS exist in the deal. The promise of a safeguard which acts as a cap on large emitters as part of the Emissions Reduction Fund deal could over time be strengthened to match the decarbonising trajectory needed. Shortfalls could possibly be met by buying abatement units achieved by others. More >>

Source: The Conversation

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Jobs



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...and one to end the week on ... World Woes

Threat Alerts to Europe by John Cleese (apparently).

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."

The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final level.

Regards,John Cleese.

British writer, actor and tall person.

PS: As a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. - Welcome back to 430 BC.






And on that note, now that we've probably raised the hackles of many nationalities, enjoy the weekend. Cheers.

Brent Apthorp
Editor, Friday Offcuts
PO Box 904
Level Two, 2 Dowling Street
Dunedin, New Zealand
Ph: +64 3 470 1902
Fax: +64 3 470 1904
Web page: www.fridayoffcuts.com


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