Friday Offcuts – 27 March 2026

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Welcome to this week’s issue of Friday Offcuts.

Standards, policy and leadership lead the issue, with the launch of the Australia & New Zealand Forest Valuation Standard marking a major step toward harmonisation. At the same time, industry groups in New Zealand are calling for forestry to be recognised as a critical fuel customer, while concerns persist over the Australia–EU trade deal. The sector also sees new leadership, with Dean Witehira appointed President of the NZ Forest Owners Association.

Markets, trade and construction trends highlight ongoing volatility, from rising freight costs impacting log exports to shifting housing demand toward higher-density dwellings and evolving export priorities. Innovation, infrastructure and safety also feature, from port upgrades and mill milestones to new R&D programmes and emerging technologies.

We’ve just returned from Environmental Forestry 2026 and will share a full recap next week. WoodTECH 2026’s super early bird has also been extended.

Next week’s issue will be released on Thursday, 2 April, with advertising due Wednesday 1pm.

Read these stories and more in this week’s issue of Friday Offcuts.

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Australia and NZ launch landmark forest valuation standard

Setting a major new benchmark for the forestry sector, Forestry Australia and the New Zealand Institute of Forestry (NZIF) are proud to launch the Australia & New Zealand Forest Valuation Standard.

The ANZ Forest Valuation Standard, a joint NZIF and Forestry Australia initiative, is the result of nearly a decade’s work by the national associations to bring together their country-level forest standards into a single document capable of representing plantation and native forests.

The first Australia & New Zealand Forest Valuation Standard was developed in consultation with forest professionals, researchers, industry and practitioners on both sides of the Tasman. It reflects the latest thinking and best practice in forest valuation across both countries and is designed to assist valuation practitioners, forest managers, investors, and those reporting forest values.

Dr Michelle Freeman, President of Forestry Australia, said: “The merging of the separate country-level standards held by Forestry Australia and New Zealand Institute of Forestry is a significant milestone. It reflects the strength and value of ongoing collaboration and partnership between our countries, our industries and professional organisations.

“Importantly, while the ANZ Forest Valuation Standard is intended to address common interests of our national forest industries, it is flexible enough to allow for differences. The Standard will be an evolving tool to help shape the forest sector's future and support continued innovation and improvement, as markets, reporting expectations, and sustainability considerations continue to evolve.

Concurrent with the ANZ Forest Valuation Standard, Forestry Australia has launched the Australian Carbon Standard Exposure Draft, to sit along-side the existing New Zealand Carbon Standard. Forestry Australia has also recently examined the implications for Australian reporting entities arising from the newly mandated Australian Accounting Standards Board Climate Related Disclosures (AASB S2).

These latest developments will be examined at the upcoming Forestry Australia Valuation Standard Summit, to be held later this month in Melbourne.

Convenor of the Forestry Australia Valuation Committee Keith Lamb said “We are proud to celebrate the launch of the new ANZ Forest Valuation Standards and to showcase our work in Climate Related Disclosures. The Summit will also provide us an opportunity to recognise the work of those who preceded us.

James Treadwell, President of the New Zealand Institute of Forestry, said: “Our members have contributed voluntary time and expertise to forest valuation standards for more than three decades. The first New Zealand standard was developed in the 1990s and has been continually refined since then as markets, reporting expectations, and forest management practices have evolved.

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Source: Forestry Australia


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Forestry's letter to NZ Government Ministers

We are writing on behalf of the New Zealand Forest Owners Association and Forest Industry Contractors Association to emphasise the importance of explicitly including forestry as a Level 2 critical customer in the National Fuel Plan, particularly to support both domestic sawmills and export continuity during periods of fuel, freight, or supply chain disruption.

Forestry is one of New Zealand’s most logistics-intensive export sectors, with a high dependence on reliable access to fuel, land transport, shipping services, and port operations. Even short-term disruptions can quickly constrain the movement of logs and forest products, undermine contractual obligations with wood processors, and erode New Zealand’s reputation as a dependable trading partner.

Recent volatility in global shipping and fuel markets has underscored this exposure. Where prioritisation decisions are required, the absence of forestry as an explicitly recognised Level 2 critical customer creates uncertainty for exporters, contractors, ports, wood processors, and fuel suppliers alike. This uncertainty limits the sector’s ability to plan effectively and increases the risk of avoidable domestic and export disruption at times of national constraint.

Explicit recognition of forestry as a Level 2 critical customer would:
  • Maintain the essential raw input for the NZ construction and wood processing sector
  • Improve certainty for exporters and logistics providers during fuel or freight disruptions
  • Support continuity of log and wood product exports; and
  • Align treatment of forestry with its economic significance.
The sector is also managing the ongoing consequences of significant windthrow and storm damage experienced over the past nine months. Recovery operations remain active in several regions and rely on the same fuel and transport inputs required for the supply chains outlined above.

Recovery of damaged wood is a timebound activity, if left too long the fallen timber will lose any economic value and shift to be a cost and environmental and health and safety liability. This recovery effort further reinforces the need for clarity and prioritisation to avoid compounding economic, environmental, and safety risks.

Given forestry’s contribution to regional employment, export revenue, and supply chain resilience, we consider explicit inclusion as a Level 2 critical customer to be both practical and proportionate.

We would welcome the opportunity to engage further with Ministers or officials on this matter and to provide additional sector-specific information as required. The Forest Owners Association remains committed to working constructively with government to strengthen export resilience and ensure continuity through periods of disruption.

Ngā mihi nui,

Elizabeth Heeg, FOA and Rowan Struthers, FICA

Source: FICA


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Removal of EU trade tariffs to sap forestry industry

AFPA has expressed disappointment and concerns about the new Australia-European Union Free Trade Agreement (A-EU FTA) signed by the Federal Government this week. Under the deal, Australia will eliminate tariffs on European timber imports.

AFPA Chief Executive Officer Diana Hallam said: “We echo the concerns raised by many other agriculture peak bodies today about the lack of opportunities arising from the deal for Australia’s forest industries. “Furthermore, the removal of trade tariffs – including on timber products – under the new A-EU FTA will challenge Australian sawn timber and engineered wood product manufacturers.

“Australia’s domestic timber production is already under extreme pressure, including from surging timber imports, a stagnant housing market and rising domestic costs such as energy, insurance, labour, transport and fuel – and this trade deal will further undermine the competitiveness of Australian timber.

We are disappointed that adding further price advantage to imports into our timber market, while government is adding costs to domestic production, will be highly detrimental to local timber manufacturing, which is one of the few primary industries that doesn’t receive Federal Government support for Country of Origin labelling.”

On a more positive note, Ms Hallam highlighted that the new A-EU FTA did not include a commitment to subscribe to the EU Deforestation Regulation. “Fortunately, in a win for the sector, the A-EU FTA does not include deforestation regulation, and we will continue to engage with the EU on these problematic and trade-distorting measures in other international forums alongside the United States, Canada and New Zealand,” Ms Hallam said.

“While it’s a disappointing outcome overall, we will continue to work with the Government to advocate for our sustainable forestry industry. Currently, we don’t have a level playing field in Australia. However, with stronger support, sustainable timber industries can continue to grow, create employment, support sovereign capability, address climate change and underpin rural and regional communities.

“We call on the Government to provide Country of Origin labelling and domestic procurement rules around using more timber in construction, so we can not just survive but thrive!”

More >>

Source: AFPA



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Dwelling growth driven by townhouses & apartments

Over the period 2020–2025, the composition of dwelling construction by building type has shifted slightly. Monthly dwelling approval data indicates a change in how the housing sector has adjusted its capacity to respond to strong demand.

For houses (single-detached dwellings), approval numbers peaked in 2021 and 2022 at 143,000 and 126,000, respectively, representing increases of 33% and 17% from the 2020 figure of 108,000. Approvals then declined in 2023 and 2024, largely due to supply-side constraints such as high material and labour costs, before rebounding in 2025 (Table 1).

These trends suggest ongoing challenges in expanding housing capacity, including barriers related to land availability, planning approvals, and delays in delivering the necessary supporting infrastructure.

Townhouses of two or more storeys show a similar trend to detached houses, likely reflecting strong housing demand in metropolitan and major urban areas, where subdivision is becoming more common to support housing affordability. Single-storey townhouses, in particular, recorded significant growth between 2024 and 2025, increasing by 28% from 7,400 to approximately 9,500 dwellings. However, despite this growth, townhouses as a share of total dwelling approvals have remained relatively stable at around 17%.

The most notable shift is observed in apartments, particularly those with nine or more storeys, typically classified as high-density developments. Prior to 2025, these apartments averaged around 21,000 approvals per year. In 2025, this increased significantly to approximately 27,300 units, representing a 34% rise.

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Source & image credit: FWPA


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SnapSTAT - International tourism compared with selected NZ exports



Our current political leadership seems to think international tourism will save our export earnings. To see how its earnings compare with other sector see the chart below.

For the year ended March 2024, international tourism expenditure surged to $16.9 billion, positioning it as the country's second-largest export earner. By comparison, wood and wood products accounted for $6.6 billion, highlighting the significant scale the government is prioritizing as it looks for growth beyond our traditional primary production base.



Source: Figure.NZ


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A new wave of leadership for forest owners

The New Zealand Forest Owners Association (NZFOA) has announced new leadership following its Annual General Meeting on 19 March, with Dean Witehira elected as President – succeeding outgoing President, Matt Wakelin – and Sean McBride elected as Vice President.

Currently chief operating officer at Kaingaroa Tipu, Dean holds more than 35 years’ expertise across the entire forest value chain. He has played a key role in managing one of the country’s largest forestry estates in the central North Island and is widely recognised for his leadership in large-scale forest operations, investment systems and high-risk operational environments. 

“He tino pai ki ahau te whakatūnga hei Perehitini mō te NZFOA. He mea nui kia āhei au ki te tautoko i ō tātou tāngata, ō tātou hoa mahi, me ngā ngahere maha e whakahaeretia ana e ā mātou mema,” Deans says - It is great to have been appointed as the president of the NZFOA and to be able to support our people, our partners and the many forests our members manage.

Forestry is at the heart of New Zealand’s economic and environmental future. While our forests already deliver jobs, support regional communities and provide climate solutions, Dean says there is still more we can do.

“Right now, the industry is operating in a challenging environment, including ongoing cost pressures and fuel volatility,” he says. “By working closely with members, the focus remains on improving performance, building durable relationships with stakeholders and better promoting the many positive outcomes forestry delivers across the country.

“Collaboration and collective leadership will be critical as the sector navigates both current pressures and future opportunities.”

Looking ahead, Dean says he sees a strong role for NZFOA in shaping the next phase of industry leadership.

“Over the coming term, I’d like to see NZFOA lead the conversation on sustainable investment, workforce development and the growth of the bioeconomy to ensure our sector continues to innovate and deliver long‑term value,” he says. “I’m proud to be in a position to support the ongoing work of Elizabeth, her team and the wider membership as the industry moves forward together.”

NZFOA chief executive Dr Elizabeth Heeg says strong leadership is essential at a time when forestry faces both pressure and opportunity.

More >>

Source: NZFOA 

Image credit: Timberlands


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Hyne-Pine Gin to celebrate 25 years at Tumbarumba

To celebrate 25 years of Hyne Timber Tumbarumba, the Hyne Group is pleased to launch the Hyne-Pine Gin. In partnership with Tumbarumba founded, Ladbroken Distillery, the Radiata Pine needle infused gin was officially launched with taste testing by Hyne’s local customers and suppliers.

Hyne Group Chair, Tom Bruce-Jones hosted the small launch which presented an opportunity to thank those in attendance for their support over the years, especially in light of recent bushfires and ongoing challenges. “It was great to meet some of our local customers, suppliers and builders, and share some current market insights as well as the journey over the years.

“Pine infused gin certainly presented some light-hearted fun while acknowledging the importance of supporting locally grown and manufactured timber for our housing construction. I would also like to thank Robbie and Neil Ladbrook, founders of the Ladbroken Distillery, for taking our idea and creating something special to mark this commemorative year.” Mr Bruce-Jones concluded.

All those who recall the Tumbarumba Mill site when Hyne purchased it 25 years ago, can attest to the significant investment and growth the Hyne Group has delivered over the years. The initial development of $180million transformed the site into a world-class sawmill with continued improvements to safety, efficiency, technology and quality.

Snowy Valleys Mayor, Councillor Julia Ham, acknowledged the contribution of the Hyne Group to the region. “25 years is a significant milestone and the economic value of the Mill to this region cannot be underestimated. From both direct and in-direct employment, manufacture of sustainable, quality products and the support for the community over the years, the contribution is tremendous, not only for Tumbarumba, but the whole of Snowy Valleys Council area and beyond.

“The Hyne Community Trust alone has contributed almost $1 million into the community and that doesn’t include all the other donations including timber for various community initiatives.” Councillor Ham said.

The commemorative Hyne pine infused gin is available while stocks last and pending demand for future batches. It can be purchased directly from the Ladbroken Distillery in Tumbarumba, 7 Albury Street, or ordered online.

Source & image credit: Hyne Timber



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Historic first at Eastland Port

On Monday morning, the Norse Antwerp came in smoothly alongside the Yangtze Keeper at Eastland Port – and history was made. For the very first time, two 180-metre long vessels were able to berth next to each other on Wharves 7 and 8.

“It was a pretty impressive sight, and a milestone moment for the Port team and the region,” said Eastland Port Chief Executive Andrew Gaddum. 

“Twin Berth represents the Port’s biggest infrastructure upgrades in more than a century, and has been well over a decade in the making. Now that it’s nearing final completion, we’re able to provide more flexibility and efficiency for local exporters, including horticulture, agriculture and the forestry industry, as well as cruise ship operators.

“With a bumper kiwifruit harvest this season, for example, Twin Berth is supporting moving product to market as quickly and reliably as possible. Twin Berth also opens up new opportunities for containerisation and coastal shipping. As a locally owned company, based in right in the heart of Gisborne city, the Eastland Port team is highly motivated to build better outcomes for Tairāwhiti.”

The original Twin Berth plans evolved over the past few years, as the Port considered budgets, operational efficiencies, and environmental factors.

The intention was to be able to accommodate a 185-metre and a 200-metre ship simultaneously, but after running the costs and working with the design engineers and customers, the Port team came up with “Twin Berth lite”. This allows two 180-metre vessels to berth at once.

“The completed infrastructure gives us 90% of the initially scoped operational facilities and flexibility, at around 10% of the original proposed cost,” said Mr Gaddum. “Twin Berth sets the region up for the foreseeable future, with all consents in place and the optionality to further expand in response to growing demand.

“It has also ensured a lower environmental impact, while introducing a number of environmental innovations.”

These included working with hapū on the redesign of Wharf 7 to protect the habitat for the Rua Kourā (crayfish nursery) and establishing Australasia-leading stormwater treatment processes across the Port.

Mr Gaddum thanked everyone who had contributed to this regionally essential project. “Thank you in particular to our very own General Manager Infrastructure and Commercial Marty Bayley and his team, who have guided this project over many years and brought it to life.

“I’d also like to acknowledge iwi, hapū and the wider community, who we’ve consulted with throughout the long and sometimes challenging consenting process. Ultimately, Twin Berth is all the better for this sharing of ideas, and the relationships we’ve built together will endure.”

During the construction phase, Eastland Port had a strong focus on using local contractors and resources.

“Ritchie Civil was the head contractor on the final stage of the project, and has done a great job for us – delivering fit for purpose regional infrastructure with their uniquely Gizzy expertise.”

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Source & image credit: Eastland Port


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NZ monthly report - March 2026

The positive news expressed in January and February has certainly turned turkey in March with fuel prices and fuel availability front and centre.

I have attempted to get as recent as possible information on the log trade in to this report at is sits mid-March. But I must emphasise this is a highly volatile and unpredictable space at present so by the time you see this report, some elements could have changed.

I could spend the next 400 words lambasting the illustrious Donald Trump but frankly the man is not worth the space. Suffice to say he appears hell bent on wrecking the world order and seemingly unstoppable. Let us hope the November US mid term elections can sort that one out!

The Iran conflagration is destined to have major impacts.  Your average vessel taking logs from a South Island Port to China in February and March was at a hire rate of US$30 – $33 per JAS cubic metre.

For those not familiar with the acronyms a JAS is a Japanese Agricultural Standard log measure. This is a fall back to the early export days in NZ (1960’s) when the majority of log sales were to Japan and the measure has simply stuck.

April South Island to China voyages are currently being quoted at US$42 – $45 per JAS with the key driver being quoted as fuel (bunker) increases. A US$12 per m3 increase equates to about NZ$20.

This very significant increase could in part be off-set by market price increases and a drop in the FOREX rate. But the potential gains will be well off set with Harvesting and Cartage companies needing to increase their rates to pay for a higher fuel cost. In round numbers the current maths suggests export log sales netted back to the forest owner will see a drop of about NZ$8 – 15 per JAS m3.

I seriously hope that is not the net result by the time we get to end March, because a drop of that magnitude would see many Forest Owners calling harvest operations to a halt.

The impacts also stretch in to our domestic sawmill customers, who could run out of logs given reduced harvest activity. The sector wide impacts of the current prediction are likely the most significant our industry has experience since the Global Asian crisis.

We have been increasing our sales of logs in to containers with demand high and prices currently higher than break bulk equivalent grades. An initial demand of 40 to 50 containers per month has grown 250+ per month with prices currently holding at February levels.

The very significant issue I have with all fuel companies is how can they lift the price of fuel at the pump when the fuel in the tank at the pump was purchased before the Brent Crude increase. If there is 50 days supply of fuel in NZ why then does the fuel cost change immediately at the pump when for the next 50 days the fuel cost to suppliers is at the old price?

More >>

Source: Laurie Forestry

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QLD Govt and CSIRO launch program to grow innovation

CSIRO, Australia’s national science agency, invites Queensland SMEs to apply for Innovate to Grow: Circular Economy and Sustainability, a free eight-week research and development (R&D) training program.

Delivered as part of the Queensland Government funded Regional University Industry Collaboration (RUIC) program, Innovate to Grow guides businesses through developing and implementing R&D strategies and provides support from experienced researchers and industry mentors.

Dr George Feast, Director - CSIRO SME Connect, said growing interest in circular economy approaches was creating new opportunities for Queensland businesses to innovate.

"Businesses across Queensland are exploring how to reduce waste, extend the life of materials and build more sustainable operations – and many of them have great ideas with commercial potential,” Dr Feast said.

“The challenge is often knowing how to take that next step.  CSIRO’s Innovate to Grow program gives SMEs the structured support and connections to turn those ideas into a clear R&D plan, backed by the expertise to act on it.”

Queensland Chief Scientist Professor Kerrie Wilson said the program reflected the Queensland Government’s commitment to support local businesses to partner with regional universities to commercialise research. "Queensland businesses across the state are generating ideas grounded in science and emerging research to address important and complex sustainability issues,” Professor Wilson said.

“Programs such as CSIRO’s Innovate to Grow provide SMEs with research expertise, technical knowledge and collaborative networks to turn ideas into practical and impactful outcomes,” she said.

More than one-third of the 800 participants from CSIRO’s Innovate to Grow program have been from regional Australia, demonstrating strong engagement from businesses outside major metropolitan areas.

Leanne Edge from Eco Barge Clean Seas Inc. participated in a previous Innovate to Grow program. The Queensland-based organisation develops innovative solutions to tackle marine plastic pollution.

Ms Edge said the program provided the clarity and direction needed to move forward with confidence. "Participating in CSIRO’s program has been transformative for us," Ms Edge said. "The guidance from our mentor helped us navigate complex hurdles and gave us the tools and mindset to innovate with purpose and impact."

CSIRO's Innovate to Grow: Circular Economy and Sustainability is open to Queensland SMEs developing or supplying solutions in:
  • Manufacturing
  • Transport
  • Energy, solar, wind turbines, batteries
  • Construction materials
  • Agriculture, food and beverage
  • Reducing plastic waste
  • Mining and METS
  • Digital, robotics and AI.
Applications are now open and close on 26 April 2026.

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Source & image credit: CSIRO


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FISC safety alert: Yarder stabilising ram failure incident

The forestry sector has long relied on Thunderbird TY50 and TY70 tower yarders—machines designed to be light, transportable, and efficient. However, a serious harm injury of a worker, has highlighted a critical safety concern that demands immediate attention.

The yarder was being prepared to shift. Running lines and guys had been retrieved. The tower was pushed into vertical position and the stabilising ram locked. The guy ropes were hooked on the chassis and ratcheted up to remove excessive slack.

However, during the rope retrieval the tail rope over-spooled or “birdnested”. A plan was then made to untangle the rope and run the tail rope out so it could be correctly fleeted back onto the drum. A grapple operator was positioned in front of the hauler to pull the rope out and then manage rope tension as it was wound back on. Another worker was deployed to sit beside the drum and assist fleeting the bottom layer and a 3rd worker, the

hauler driver, had the tail drum engaged, and idling dead slow in 1st gear. The yarder driver was observing the drum and stabilising ram through the cab side window. The rope was being wound slowly onto the drum, and the first layer was half completed when without warning the spear on the stabilising ram snapped.

The broken spear shot forward and landed on the workers hand who had been positioned near the drum. The injury was severe requiring four fingers to be amputated

Investigation findings
  • The investigation revealed that the incident was the result of a stabilising ram failure.
  • It identified that the Thunderbird manual prescribes the slackening of all guylines before rope recovery, therefore the tower was not supported by guylines when the stabilising ram failed.
  • Also, the stabilising ram spear had been replaced with induction-hardened steel rather than the original mild steel design. Induction hardened steel provides excellent wear resistance and strength but does not have the same ductile microstructure of mild steel, which allows it to deform (bend or stetch) significantly under stress before fracturing, it absorbs energy well.
Recommendations for TY50 and TY70 tower yarders
  • Guyline safety: While Thunderbird manuals allow slackening all guylines and locking the pole before rope recovery, it is recommended to keep at least one rear guyline in place to prevent tower collapse if the stabiliser ram fails.
  • Stabilising ram spear: Owners must verify the steel grade of stabiliser ram spears. It is recommended that a replacement spear should be consistent th the original mild steel composition with good energy absorbing ductile properties.
  • Lagged drums: Rope fleeting exposes workers for 15–20 minutes. Lagging drums reduces this risk. Owners should consider replacing at least the front drum when machines undergo major servicing.
  • Annual inspections: Towers must be inspected annually by CBIP-certified inspectors. Inspectors should be briefed on the Kohurau incident and the importance of spear verification and ram integrity.
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Source & image credit: New Zealand Forest Industry Safety Council



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NZ AutoTraps welcomes next phase of Predator Free 2050

NZ AutoTraps, fresh from attending and sponsoring FIEA's Environmental Forestry 2026 earlier this week, has welcomed the continued roll-out of New Zealand’s Predator Free 2050 strategy. Their innovative self-resetting predator traps are already a regular feature in forests throughout the country, providing the long-term, low-maintenance solutions required for large-scale conservation.

As the national strategy shifts toward more intensive urban and regional elimination, the role of automated technology remains at the forefront of the mission.

Wellington will spearhead the next phase of the Government's Predator Free 2050 strategy, with the capital set to receive a $5.5 million funding boost to scale up predator elimination efforts. Conservation Minister Tama Potaka said the next phase of the programme would shift from smaller, community-led projects to targeting predator elimination across larger urban areas.

“In Wellington Te Whanganui-a-Tara, that means extending predator control across the whole city, with more traps, more monitoring, and more action on the ground to bring back native wildlife and strengthen the city’s appeal as a destination," Potaka said. “This is a coordinated push across the whole city. Practical action that people will notice in their neighbourhoods, with more native species returning and thriving."

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Adapted from 1 News
Image credit:NZ AutoTraps 


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Can trees and fungi revolutionise forest management?

At a commercial tree nursery near Evans, western Louisiana, 5m pine seedlings are packed on to 12 vast circular irrigation tables, each as wide as a football field. Last September, many of these young trees were sprayed with what looked like muddy water.

The substance was in fact a liquid extract teeming with hundreds of species of wild soil fungi. Brad Ouseman, the nursery manager, is confident he will see results from this fungal inoculation, which is intended to improve yields and reduce the need for artificial fertilisers.

“By the time January gets here, you’ll tell the difference between that seedling and this seedling,” Ouseman says, pointing to separate rows of sprayed and non-sprayed pines.

Colin Averill, the founder of Funga, the startup company that supplied the spray, likens the treatment to a faecal microbiome transplant for young pine trees. Where medics now successfully treat certain bowel conditions by transferring gut microbes from healthy donors into patients, Funga treats young pine trees with wild microbes derived from the soils of thriving pine forests.

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Source: The Guardian
Image credit: Funga


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And one to end on... Exam rules

An exam was taking place in Oxford's oldest and most traditional college...

The ancient hall was packed with students in deep concentration.

Halfway through, a student stood up, banged his desk and loudly demanded a pint of beer.

The head examiner, furious at the disruption, asked him to 'explain yourself at once'.

The student cited section 7.b of a long forgotten 13th century charter which stated students must receive a pint of ale at the mid-point of all exams.

After finding a copy of the charter and seeing the student was right, the examiner begrudgingly dispatched an assistant to fetch a beer.

As the student smugly sipped on his pint, the head examiner suddenly announced, "You are expelled from this college, effective immediately!"

"Why?", asked the student.

"For entering an exam hall without your sword."



And on that note, enjoy your weekend. Cheers.

Ken Wilson
Editor, Friday Offcuts
www.fridayoffcuts.com


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